New Year. New Baby. New Mum.

2022 has been one hell of a year. I entered it as the brand new mum of a 4 week old baby boy. Dishevelled, sleep deprived, and a mess of raging hormones. I didn’t know my a**e from my elbow and couldn’t see straight, never mind think straight!

As time went on I began to admit that I was struggling and I needed some help, I felt like PND was taking over. It was at the same time as this that some people chose to remove themselves and their friendship/support from my life. I had done nothing wrong, other than have a baby. That hurt. If I’m truly honest, it still does. But we move.

On February 23rd, E and I walked in to our first ever baby class, and our lives were instantly changed for the better. There I met three of the best friends a girl could ever wish to have by her side as she tackles the journey of motherhood. There E met three little friends for life.

Suddenly everything made sense. These three “strangers” were more support to me than people I had known for years. The saying, ‘friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked in to your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it’ rang truer than ever before.

We are nearly 12 months down the line now, and the four of us are closer than ever. We are constantly messaging (often utter rubbish), but also constantly supporting each other, lifting each other up and being what every [new] mum needs - an ear, a shoulder, a friend.

I don’t even want to think about what life might be like now if I hadn’t booked on to baby massage, and fought every anxious bone in my body to go along (and take my mum) on that first day.

I should also add in here that my husband, and my family have been an incredible support every step of the way. This includes my best friend in the world. She may have been working in the Middle East, but her love and support was strong from day one, and has never faltered.

The last 12 months have been intense. Hard work. Tiring. But also rewarding, amazing, and so full of love and laughter. With my girls on one side, and my family on the other, I’m getting to a better place than I’ve ever been.

My little boy deserves a mummy who is at peace with the world and free of hatred.

So if you chose to walk out of my life in 2022, know that your decision hurt me, but I wish you nothing but love and peace. And one day, maybe you’ll understand.